No Comparison (It Causes Suffering)

So since Tuesday I had been really feeling uncomfortable, irritable, mad, angry, and sad all at the same time.  The discomfort of being stretched coupled with my learning that my sister (who has a smaller frame than I, mind you) told me that the amount of saline I got on Tuesday for my expansion was the sum of what she got after four sessions, caused me to really be in a space.  All I kept thinking was that what I got in one sitting was what she got over a period of four weeks.  She and I comparing notes caused me to be in a space.  Me comparing my situation with hers, caused me to be in a space.  I was fine with the discomfort alone but when I compared what she had with what I had, I moved in and settled down in, a space.

Now anyone who knows me and my sister knows that I am several inches taller and pounds heavier than she is.  I practically have a six foot frame while she is 5'6 or less.  So stating the obvious; there is no comparison.  My doctor, being mindful of who I am and what I am capable of handling, stretched me according to my body type.  Her doctor stretched her according to her body type.  Her doctor did not give her more than she could handle nor did my doctor give me more than I could handle.

Isn't that like us, though, to compare ourselves to one another?  I already had the pain of being stretched but I added to it the suffering of wanting what my sister had.  Pain is one thing.  Suffering is another.  Many believe that although pain may be inevitable, suffering is avoidable.  Suffering is what we create in response to pain.  Instead of acknowledging the pain and finding ways to manage it, we create suffering.  Instead of responding to the pain and looking for its source or looking for its remedy, we settle in it and create our own brand of suffering.  No one created the conditions for us.  We did it on our own.  No one told me to get angry when my sister shared the information.  I got angry on my own.  No one told me I should be upset that I got more saline than her.  I did that on my own.  No one planted the thought of me lashing out at the doctors and questioning their ethics and practice.  I planted that thought on my own.  No one told me to plan to miss my next appointment. I came up with that plan all on my own.  My pain wasn't properly managed.  I made a decision to suffer and as a result, I opened my mind to destructive intentions that will not help me (or anyone else for that matter) in the long run.  I made plans and chose to suffer in my pain when I didn't have to.  No one twisted my arm.  I birthed that baby all by myself all because I decided to compare my sister's experience, to mine.

Well I am not suffering in my pain now because I made a choice not to.  I let my sister know that her experience is not like mine and that each of us are under the watchful eye of very capable doctors.  Just like my physical doctor knows how much strecthcing and pressure I can handle, so does my heavenly doctor.  The Lord knows what I am able to handle so I am comforted in not comparing myself and my experience to my sister's.  We are both from the same family.  We are going through similar experiences but that is where the comparison stops.  The Bible speaks to comparing ourselves with one another so as I prepare to write my next entry, Pain Management, I want to leave you with this scripture:

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves...When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 2 Corinthians 10:12 NIV


Learn from me and my sister and don't compare yourself to others.  Doing so will only cause unnecessary suffering.  Spiritually when we compare ourselves to others we inevitably turn some of our anger towards our doctor (God).  We tend to think that God gave us a raw deal but that is not the case.  God knows our bodies and our frames.  God knows what we can handle and will stretch us accordingly.  Trust that your doctor cares for you and wants the best for you and stop looking at others. Don't be unwise and foolish like me.  Trust God.


Until next time,


Tasha


P.S. Read Pain Management.  I think it will bless you.