I love being a woman. I love looking good, smelling good, and being a lady. I think women are fierce. I think we are forces to be reckoned with. I think we are stronger than men not only because of our ability to take the physical pain of child birth but also because we bear the load of being used, overlooked, mistreated, abused, etc., and still are able to walk with our heads held high. We are marginalized and subjugated to roles and rules that are man-made and not God ordained and yet, we rise. We really have it going on. There are a few things that challenge me the most in being a woman though, and they are, my hormones. I HATE my hormones.
My hormones are not reliable and they are very crazy. I can go from 0 to 10 in .0008 seconds flat! PMS is real for me and I hate it. I am dealing with this hormonal thing right now very heavily and going to my appointment yesterday did not help. I met my medical oncologist for the first time yesterday. She is a really nice lady. We had a consult where she shared with me that she is looking to treat my cancer with chemotherapy, hormonal therapy, or a combination of the two. She wants to have more testing done on the breast tissue before she decides but because of my age and my positive genetic mutation she wants to minimize the chances of the cancer showing up distally as much as possible. I did not know that my cancer could show up distally even though the cancerous tissue had been removed. I knew the cancer could SPREAD to other places but I didn't know that even with the infected breast tissue being removed that it could still show up somewhere else. This piece of news rocked my world. I have to admit, I shed a few tears. But before I cried, what did I say to the doctor Liz, "I am on my period so I am just a little emotional right now." Did I say that because I was supposed to handle the news differently? Did I say that because as a Christian I am supposed to look at these challenges and scream in the doctor's face, "Devil you are a liar" but didn't? Did I put out that disclaimer to let the doctor know that under normal circumstances this piece of information would not have phased me? Did I rather blame my behavior on a force that I could not control (PMS) instead of admitting that the news was a little more than I could bear?
The subject of hormones is a really difficult one for me primarily because I am a woman of faith. Being a woman of faith in some people's minds mean that I do not have down days and/or I am not impacted by life's issues. But that is not the case for me. I have some good days, bad days, and weary days. I have days I want to shout and dance for joy and days I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I have days I want to laugh and days I want to fight. I have days I want to sit in solace, and days when I want to have company. My emotions cover the spectrum of the human condition. But does that mean I am ungodly and do not have faith in God because of my emotions?
Hormones are real, they are not imagined. Estrogen and progesterone are real. They have a function. Unfortunately at times though, they are out-of-balance and out-of-whack. You may produce more estrogen than normal and vice versa. So what do you do when that happens? How do you put your hormones under subjection? Do you put your period under subjection too? Do we curse the natural functions of our bodies when they cause us discomfort? I would really like to know how you handle it. Outside of prayer, chamomile tea, and time and distance from people, I don't know any other way to handle my hormones. This is especially disconcerting for me because the doctor is talking about having my estrogen producing ovaries removed in order to minimize the production of the hormone in which my type of cancer feeds. With removing or suppressing my hormone production I run the risk of having my emotions REALLY be out of whack! MAN! So ladies I ask you, how do you deal with your emotions and what has been your experience with God in this? I would really like to know so will all the hormonal women, please stand up?
T-
PMS is real for me as well! I get SUPER emotional and edgy! The only way I have found to deal with it, is to recognize it for what it is. If I know I would not usually feel a certain way, then I first make a stand not to hurt or offend people because my hormones tell me too ...lol! I tweak my actions and then I fight back. I have found that if I "get cute" it helps out some. It's something about taking a little extra time to nurture the outside,that helps my inside to feel better. I get with friends so we can share PMS stories and build ouselves up! We say things like, PMS is not going to run me shoot! We laugh and get through it and then do it all over again next month :-)
ReplyDeletep.s. For super outta whack hormones like menopause related and what you may have to go through, they do have medicine that balances your hormones. Love ya, Teonna
Hey Tasha, Great Article! I'm standing, because I too love being a woman as well, and I must join you in the ranks of women, who haven't figured it out yet. I do recognize it now, when I'm overly sensitive or can cry at the drop of a dime for no reason at all, or very short on patience, I know, it must be time for the infamous visitor to come! Recognition has enabled me to understand myself a little better, however I'm still trying to put this thing under subjection. I'm still a WIP (work in Progress) with this PMS!:) I'm still asking God to help me navigate with this fearfully and wonderfully made woman of a creation that He has made me!:)
ReplyDeleteHi Tasha, I love being a woman too.(and especially now) However my hormones were out of control during my pregnancy and then being thrown into menopuase. After my surgery I was Dr Jelkyl and Mrs. Hyde. I said all that to say it varies from woman to woman. But through constant prayer and the grace of God I made it. And you will too! Love you and I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteHormones can really rock your world. Following my hysterectomy I was up and down all the time. It gets better with time. However, this is in no way meant to downplay or dismiss the craziness and angst. You are a strong and very brave woman. This, too, you shall conquer. Sending you love, Dari
ReplyDeleteHello Tasha, great article. This is the first thing I have read on your blog, you can really express yourself through writing. Our hormones do play a big part of being a woman. I feel, however, just recognizing your emotions at the time when we are going through them helps to overcome the drastic changes. You are doing a great job at feeling and keeping in touch with your emotions.
ReplyDeleteI had been wondering how you were, and a little worried about you. When people you care about, but are not really in touch with frequently are ill, a person really doesn't know what to say or do. I can tell just from reading this blog that you are a survivor, and a warrior! Women are strong, and the women with God for them are truly unstoppable!!!
Peace and many blessings to you.